I write this not in anger I write this not for spite For mortally wounded I may be I can not change anyone but me. I want my son. Do you understand the exhilarating joy Of knowing you’re pregnant with a boy Only to have him stripped from your arms? My  body goes into overdrive with alarm. I want my son. Do you understand the feeling Of wanting a child for Nine Years? Only to have him unfairly taken Day and night I fight back tears. I want my son. Do you understand the bond  fetus And mother form? For nine months everything I now do, I do for my child unborn. I want my son. Day after day baby and mother live alone Making the bond between mother and child All the more strong. When he awakens early in the morning A story to him I read. And when all is quiet I rub my womb And sweetly hum a tune. I want my son. Do you understand the trepidation Of being in the delivery room Not knowing what everyone is doing Not caring that I am paralyzed

Not caring that I am surgically cut open 4 layers deep Not caring that I feel faint Not caring that I feel as if I am going to spew? But through it all I smile because I hear the cry of my infant child. I want my son. Do you understand what it feels like Upon my breast those little lips receive life As he holds my finger in the palm of his little hand. At first every hour, then two, then three then four? Only to be taken away by others Wanting to be his mother. Unknowingly to me, they willingly lock the door Literally and figuratively locking me out of home But more importantly, breaking the bond between Child and mother. I want my son. Do you understand what it is to dream Of candy and bubble gum machines Of dancing clouds and fairy tales Of clowns and carnivals Of running, hugging, playing and holding my son? Only to awaken in the middle of giving Him a kiss to find it was a dream and in Real life everything is amiss. I want my son. He is my reason for living. He is my reason for giving. He is my reason for loving. He is my reason for sharing. He is my reason for caring. I want my son. Please God, don’t forsake me now, I want my son.