December 31^st, 2005

Dearest Baby James:

Here is hoping that daddy will give you a hug and a kiss for mommy on this first day of the New Year. I can not be with you at this time and some day, when you are old enough, you will understand. But for now, please know that I love you deeply and not a second of any day goes by that I do not think about you. So, hang in there my child, your mother is coming. Every day when I look at your pictures, remember the times we were all alone with each other. I look at the way you and I look at each other. You are so precious to me my son, your eyes have the look only a mother can understand. I look into your eyes and hug you and say something silly and ah, what a smile. You smile just like your mommy. Every day, I thank God in Heaven for you. Although I never imagined in all my life, what a difficult time this world would give the two of us. Hang in there my son, your mother is coming. Everything I do in life, I do for you.

This time last year, you were six and a half months in your mother’s womb. I loved you so much I think you got tired of me waking you up to make sure you were okay! But I had to do it my love, I did not feel you kicking! Oh but don’t worry, you kicked mommy plenty. I loved every minute of it. It reassured me you were okay. Every morning you woke up like clock work at 3:30 a.m – 4:00 a.m and when you did I thanked God for you and I read a book to you called, "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe." I read a whole chapter and then, you and I would fall back to sleep. You and I did that a lot my son, sleep.

Well guess what lit’l tiger? They have this same story out in the Movie Theaters. So tonight, mommy is going to go all by herself and pictures of you to bring in the New Year watching the movie of the very story I read to you while you were in mommy’s womb. Don’t worry my son, just as Aslan came to the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve in the end, so will I come to you. The obstacles that they encountered in doing so are the obstacles that are keeping you and I apart but in the end, everyone will be happy and good will prevail.

Don’t forget that Monday January 2^nd, is grandmom’s birthday so give her 77 kisses. That is how old she will be and Baby James, make sure they’re wet kisses. J

I love you lit’l tiger … close your eyes and may the moon shine upon your face and the stars keep twinkling in your eyes and precisely at 12 midnight, mommy asked God to send an angel to kiss you as you sleep. You’ll feel it. I know.

All my love ….